Apple's next iPhone, pretty much certain to be called the iPhone 5 thanks to the non-too-subtle shadowing on the official launch invite (see below), finally goes public this Wednesday at 6pm in possibly the biggest smartphone event of 2012.
UPDATE: Here's further confirmation that it's called the iPhone 5 and not the New iPhone...
We'll be bringing you all the news as soon as it hits of course, but who wants to sit around twiddling their thumbs for two whole days?
...No one, that's who!...
So we've donned our Mystic Meg wig, given our shiny ball a polish and conjured up the best bits from Apple's upcoming event, with all the hot details on the brand new iPhone 5...
Apple knows it's got a good thing going, so it won't mess with the original iPhone design too much - the iPhone 5 will look very similar to the 4S, but with a few tweaks.
The major difference is the changed connector port, which ditches the old Apple proprietary design for a standard Micro USB connector. Great news for those of us with non-Apple chargers and other Micro USB gear, but of course this has major repercussions for Apple fans that have splashed out on docks and other accessories.
You'll need an adapter to use the iPhone 5 with accessories made for the iPhone 4S and earlier (we're sure Apple will sell you one for a few of your crisp wallet notes), and there's no guarantee that they'll work. If you bought a Bluetooth accessory instead of a dockable one, then plus 10 premonition points to you.
In other news, the headphone port appears to have shifted to the bottom of the iPhone 5 if leaked photos are to be believed, but other buttons and ports remain unchanged.
That crisp, colourful screen will be slightly more spacious to compete with top-end beasties such as the Samsung Galaxy S III and HTC One X - we're expecting at least a 3.8-incher. It's no big step to expect an incredibly sharp resolution, most likely the highest pixels-per-inch (ppi) of any mobile device to date, so your movies, games and apps look incredible. Thinner screen technology means more space inside for computery chips and other good stuff, but we'd be shocked if it wasn't also much tougher than the famously flimsy and fragile displays of previous models.
And one more thing...
It wouldn't be an Apple launch without at least one blow-your-buttons-off anouncement that no one was expecting. You could speculate wildly here, but we'd like to see Siri replaced with a virtual holographic panda that pops up in your lounge when you need him. Forget setting a reminder to grab milk, this guy will go to the store for you and even iron your pants (yeah, those off-yellow ones with the tear in the left buttock). Try not to agitate him though, because he'll decorate your flat with holographic panda poo if provoked.
Release date and pricing
The iPhone 5 should replace the iPhone 4S, costing £500 SIM-free for a 32GB model, and up to 800 for a 128GB model. Looks like you'll be getting your mitts on the iPhone 5 on 21 September, which only gives you 11 days to queue up outside the Regent Street store. What on earth are you waiting for? Pack up your sleeping bag, fill a carrier bag with Peperamis and Twixes and run, run, run!
DISCLAIMER: These specs and features are all entirely based on rumours, unfounded leaks and the sick workings of our frankly diseased minds. The real iPhone 5 will be launched on Wednesday at 6pm and we'll bring you all the news and a hands-on preview...