Rich people are nuts.
Apparently, the special edition BlackBerry Porsche smartphone is flying off shelves, despite costing well over a grand. We really like the retro design, with its sharp silver edges and thankfully minimalist branding, but at that price we'd struggle to recommend it – unless your name's Wayne Rooney, and you use crisp new hundred pound notes to pick lobster from your teeth.
Thankfully Porsche didn't slap its badge all over this sleek BlackBerry phone
But even the BlackBerry Porsche is like a cheap, disposable toy compared to some smartphones out there. If you want proper Z-list celeb style, you'll need a phone that costs more than most people's cars.
One worthy candidate is the Continental Nokia N95. Continental is a British online boutique specialising in pimped-out mobiles, hand-tailoring each handset until it sparkles more than George Clooney's teeth. We're talking diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds, black diamonds and champagne diamonds (we don't know what those are but they sound ultra-posh), lovingly squished together with the latest devices.
We can totally see Mr T rocking this handset
The Continental Nokia N95 is a beast to behold. Gone is the plastic front panel, replaced by a 24k slab of yellow gold. As if that wasn't enough, Continental has then slathered VS1 quality diamonds across the surface (‘for your delight'). If you check your texts on a sunny day, there's a chance your eyeballs might disintegrate. Wannabe rappers can pick one up now from Continental's website, at a special discounted rate – just £7,495, down from £11,995.
No matter what your tastes, there's an iced-out mobile just for you. Apple fans can grab a Platinum & Diamonds iPhone 4S for seven grand, and even the BlackBerry Bold 9900 has been done-up with precious gems.
But these phones cost pocket-change compared to the world's most expensive smartphones. For true exuberance, check out the Goldstriker iPhone 3GS Supreme, which costs a crotch-tingling £1.92m.
The blinged-out iPhone 3GS Supreme, complete with shedloads of diamonds
This mack daddy of mobiles is coated in solid 22k gold, while the screen is trimmed with 53 glittering diamonds. Not enough? No worries, Goldstriker also replaced the Home button with a 7.1-carat sparkler.
Which begs the question – if the 3GS had signal issues to start with, is a bucketload of gold and shiny rock really going to help?
But the 3GS Supreme's designer, Mr Stuart Hughes, didn't stop with the iPhone 3GS. The iPhone 4 also got a makeover, and now that's been surpassed by the iPhone 4S Elite Gold, officially the world's most expensive smartphone.
Here it is, folks - the world's most expensive phone, the iPhone 4s Elite
It's coated in plenty of gold and gems, but we're more staggered by the box it comes in. Made from solid platinum, the shiny chest is decorated with precious stones and – bizarrely – polished pieces of T-Rex bone. Because nothing says decadence like a chunk of dinosaur femur.
There's a dead creature's skeleton somewhere in there
The iPhone 4S Elite Gold will set you back £6 million. Just don't get drunk and leave it on the train. Oh, and only two have been produced so you better get in quick.
Despite all the bling and dino chunks, we can't help but wish for more for our £6 million. We'd be more impressed if Siri was replaced with a direct line to the Queen, who'd happily accomplish any chore you gave to her. "Remind me to grab some Mr Muscle on the way home, okay Madge? That bloody curry last night ruined my diamond-encrusted silverware."